The essence of
self-esteem is self-compassion. When you show compassion to yourself, treat yourself gently and have mercy on yourself, you understand and accept yourself. You forgive yourself when you make a mistake, because you are acting according to your reasonable expectations and striving to achieve your goals.
When you see the goodness and good intentions in yourself, speak to yourself honestly and openly, and express your intentions, you are valuing yourself.
When you have compassion for yourself, you overcome the critic within you, and when you speak to yourself with warmth and compassion, that critic cannot overpower you.
Learn how to feel compassion for yourself, begin to sense the value of your existence, and focus on caring for your feelings and your comfort with yourself.
Strengthening Compassion:
Most people regard compassion as a wonderful trait, like honesty, trustworthiness, loyalty, simplicity and spontaneity, and it appears as kindness, generosity and tenderness toward others.
But in truth, compassion is not a trait that only others deserve. You, too, deserve compassion, warmth, tenderness and gentleness, and there are key components you should focus on developing in your mindset.
Understanding:
Trying to understand yourself and your reasons changes your feelings, and you become more compassionate toward yourself.
Understanding your actions or your reactions frees you from guilt and psychological pressure. When you let go of your focus on your negativity, you become more flexible in how you view what you do, and your compassion makes you ready to accept acknowledging your mistakes and to be flexible in changing your reactions.
Compassion frees you from your anger at yourself and at what happened to you. Through compassion your mind calms and you gain control over your reactions.
Acceptance:
Acceptance is perhaps one of the hardest actions, because it can feel like condemnation or admitting a mistake. But it does not mean insisting on wrong behaviour; it means acknowledging that something exists without feeling inferior, ashamed or weak.
Self-acceptance is one of the most important functions of a mature mind, because it lets you acknowledge reality so that you can begin making changes and not repeat the mistake.
Accepting excess weight or negative habits does not diminish your self-worth; it means clarity and candour that reflect your respect for yourself in every case, and with self-acceptance you are able to change your health habits.
Psychological acceptance is one of the most important factors in embracing positive and healthy change.
Forgiveness:
Forgiveness is not giving up your rights; it means not letting your past affect your attention to the present and your priorities. The past will not change, and if you keep living in it, you will lose focus on your life and your goals.
When you forgive, you free yourself from returning in your mind to painful feelings and to your sense of guilt toward yourself, and with forgiveness you think about your freedom of choice and focus on what is essential.
Growing Your Mindset Through Compassion:
Compassion is one of the traits of intelligence that helps your mind recover from nervous symptoms and tension in your brain. Compassion is one of the most important means of making your mind flexible in perception and in accepting possibilities, opinions and differences among personalities.
If you want to become a person with social intelligence, practising compassion makes you more accepting in dealing with the temperaments of different personalities.
You Are the Mirror of Compassion for Others:
If you begin to live in a state of compassion toward yourself, it becomes easy to show that compassion to others.
Contrary to what some believe, that compassion is weakness or an inability to confront, behavioural scientists have affirmed that compassion is a source of strength in the mindset of compassionate people.
A compassionate person is serious, disciplined and committed in their conduct, and has a firm personality in their decisions.
By Dr. Naser Alfuraih
